Answers should be at least 200 words each, except for the last one.
"My best guess, based on what I've observed and what they've said to me, is that they both managed to step on each other's sensitive spots and then couldn't recover.
"Martin seems upset that Paige could have any sympathy at all for those who tried to murder him; and further, that she doesn't seem to understand why that upsets him. That, I think, is what their blow-up on my first night at the castle was all about. Then there's Martin's comment that Paige might not think he's good enough for her -- he gets pissed off and shows it, and she either gets really disappointed or goes all redheaded on him.
"Paige -- sometimes I get the feeling Paige is still trying to figure out who she is, which seems so weird when I think that she's way older than anyone I'd met before a few years ago -- well, almost anyone, I guess. We've never really spoken about the history of her relationship with Martin, what with her being reluctant to even speak his name for months and months, but if I understand the bits I have picked up, she was still, um, involved in her previous occupation when they met. I think that when things stopped being quite so shiny-happy with Martin, she looked around and saw the relationship he'd gotten into with whatsername -- Violet -- and started questioning whether he'd ever seen Paige as anything more than a plaything-for-hire. And it's more than that, too, I think -- I'm guessing she also started questioning the whole concept of love, whether real love really exists if such a huge rift could grow between her and someone she thought she loved, or whether it's all just fleeting and disposable. Then again, maybe I'm just projecting my own fears onto the situation.
"So, that's how they got to the pit of despair -- and then they stayed there because Paige had a flamboyantly self-destructive freak-out, and Martin backed way off -- either because he was really and truly scared he might cause her to kill herself the way so many women in his family seem to do, or because he began to reconsider the wisdom of being in so volatile a relationship.
"I'm really glad they're trying to be friends again."
"It's difficult to generalize when, for all practical purposes, I've got a sample size of one. Syd -- er, Random -- whatever the fuck his name is -- mostly complained, on the rare occasions he spoke of his family at all, that his father and siblings were self-involved, power-hungry schemers -- and while it's possible that that's true of all my other aunts and uncles, that's certainly not how I would characterize Gerard. He's a lot more... decent, I guess... than I might've supposed from the things Syd said. Sure, he's kind of a bear and he's got that violent temper, but I believe he genuinely has other people's welfare at heart.
"And if I try to extrapolate the personalities of my other aunts and uncles based on their offspring, they don't seem so bad, either. Not that I think offspring behavior is the ideal predictor of parental behavior -- I've seen way too much parent/child disagreement for that. Still, my cousins seem like a decent lot overall. Gerard's kids are great, of course -- sure, Vere's kind of weird, but not in a way that has anything to do with Gerard, I think. Paige is volatile, but she has a good heart -- I'm rather looking forward to meeting Bleys. Fiona's supposed to be this scary-smart sorceress, but Brita is so cool -- and uptight over the funniest girl-things -- that I have trouble picturing the 'scary' part. I like Reid, but he sort of doesn't count since Syd wouldn't have known Osric. Similarly for Martin. Ossian -- whoever his parent might be -- may be self-involved, but he seems too wrapped up in his art to be much of a power-hungry schemer, and I respect that.
"So that just leaves Lucas, and Eric's kids. I have no trouble at all picturing Lucas's mum as exactly the sort of narcissistic socialite I used to dread having to make nice with at my parents' parties, even though I find Lucas far more amusing than irritating. And, OK, if Amber were suddenly taken over by half-a-dozen Jerods -- which might very well be a reasonable approximation of Oberon and the remaining uncles -- I'd probably move to Texorami, too; but even Jerod, for all that he can be a pompous ass sometimes, has good intentions, and characterizing him as nothing more than a self-involved, power-hungry schemer is selling him way short.
"So, yeah, I look around at a lot of my cousins and I can totally see how some of their behaviors and attitudes would irritate the shit out of Syd, but I also see them using even their most noxious traits for what they see as the greater good -- and it makes me think that Syd maybe didn't give his family enough credit for their intentions."
"There's so much I miss about Texorami. If I didn't feel so strongly that there are answers in Amber, and that I've a better chance here than anywhere else of maybe making things a little better, I'm sure I'd've tried to get back home by now.
"Probably the thing I miss most from a cultural standpoint, and that I'd love to see in Amber, is... fluidity of class, I guess you'd say. There's still a huge disparity between the haves and the have-nots in Texorami -- some of the richest people in the world live in the beachfront mansions of Goldensand, and then on the other side of the river you've got kids getting their meals out of dumpsters -- but there's also a pervasive belief that anyone can make it to the top with a little talent, a little luck, and a lot of hard work -- and without having to get married, I might add. Of course, the corollary is that anyone can also make it to the bottom. As a result, I think there's a real sense of equality in Texorami that I think is missing -- and sorely needed -- in Amber.
"And, OK, working electronics would be nice, too -- I really really really miss my 12-track digital audio recorder -- but that's more of a selfish personal thing. On the other hand, with all the people going missing, a nice GPS satellite might be pretty useful....
"As for the other way 'round.... Well, I already had the thing I wanted from Amber in Texorami, until he took off, didn't I? Ahem. In terms of more abstract aspects of Amber, I really like the sense of history, of permanence, of... significance that Amber has, which is kind of funny, because in some ways it's almost antithetical to what I like about Texorami. Texorami is fluid, with the constant possibility of change, but it's also a very young city -- in terms of both the length of time it's been a city and the average age of its inhabitants -- and it can be way too image-conscious and frankly a little... plastic. Amber has deeper roots, stronger branches, a more solid foundation for building something lasting -- but the process of tearing down the outmoded part of the structure is painfully strenuous, to the point of seeming almost impossible sometimes. Of course, maybe that'll change now that bits of the Eternal City may be falling away on us -- but that's a freak-out for another time."
"He's still the best friend I ever had; the person I trust more than I trust myself; the only person besides Papa whose love I never doubted. He's stuck by me through the worst of times, and I've totally taken him for granted.
"I think about him rather a lot, especially recently when I try to figure out what I want once Syd gets back. I mean, fuck if I know, y'know? There's so many different kinds of love, different shades, and I used to think I could divide them up and draw lines between them, but now they've all sort of bled into each other. I mean, when I first met Syd, it was like... like learning to breathe, like I'd finally, suddenly, met someone who could actually see me even though I'd never noticed before that I was invisible, and I thought, This is it, this is my soulmate -- and then as I began figuring out that he wasn't coming back, it was like drowning slowly. Meeting Soren, though, was more like learning to walk, slowly, over time. I mean, we connected pretty quickly -- kindred spirits in our childhood weirdness -- but in that child sort of way that doesn't have so much meaning 'til you get older and go through shit together. But over years and years, starting, I guess, when I was six and he was eight, he just sort of became... I don't know, almost like a part of me. Something that was just always there. I mean, we were hardly inseparable -- Soren's always been kind of a loner, and I was always running around doing about a million other things -- but when he needed to talk to someone, he'd call me straightaway, and I always called him when I needed someone to be brutally honest with me, or supportive when I'd fucked up bad, or just... whenever. Being unable to talk to him about everything I've been through since I've been here has made me feel a little handicapped, and I've come to realize that I really did rely on him to look out for me and to make sure I didn't do anything too stupid. I think maybe I've been turning to Martin for that, a little, in Soren's absence.
"And it's made me wonder, Have I put too much stock in the sweep- you-off-your-feet, fairytale-romantic, big-hormone-mambo kind of love and not enough in the deep-but-steady kind? I mean, I really and truly love Syd -- but I've had so many years of wondering what the fuck he was thinking when he left, of hypothesizing motivations, that I'm not sure how much I trust him, really, deep down where it counts, where I'm so certain of his feelings that I would never even bother to be jealous. Soren I trust with my life and my soul.
"And to anyone who says, 'Yeah, but he's only a shadow,' I say, 'Fuck you.' He's real in all the ways that matter to me."
"I have to admit, I am rather curious, but it's not really a pressing issue or anything. I mean, let's face it, when I was growing up, I got along best with the parent I wasn't actually related to, so I'm not expecting to build some great new relationship. Still, you never know.
"It does cross my mind, though, enough that I'm keeping a list of relevant information and adding to it from time to time. Like, when I was doing my song research after I got to Amber, I came across 'The Ballad of the Water-Crossers' and was like, 'OK, Corwin is totally my dad,' but then I found out he'd been stuck in some other Shadow for hundreds of years, so now it seems pretty unlikely. And having gotten to know Jerod, I'm going to hazard a guess that Eric is not my dad. I've heard rumors that Caine was quite the one for wenching, and Mum wasn't exactly looking for long-term relationships at that point, so he seems a reasonable candidate. Of course, the rumors also say that he had the personality of a snake crossed with a rat bastard, so maybe it's just as well that I didn't meet him before he died.
"I haven't totally eliminated the possibility that it's one of the redheads, either. I'm still a little fuzzy on the time frame of Brand's imprisonment, and I haven't wanted to go asking a lot of questions about it because that seems like a good way to make people suspicious of me. 'Hey, you know that insane guy who tried to destroy creation? I'm trying to figure out whether he's my dad.' Yep, that'd go over like a drop-kicked elephant. Sometimes, though, I wonder whether Martin is wondering the same thing. Oh, and if Bleys turns out to be my dad, I'm gonna' laugh my ass off.
"Really, though, it could be just about anyone, except those who were long-dead before I was born.
"What will I want from my father? Well... nothing, especially. I guess for Ossian, this quest to find his parents is sort of a big deal, because that's something that was missing from his life; but for me -- well, I had parents, and I couldn't get out of their house fast enough. If my real dad turns out to be an overbearing pain in the ass, I'd really just as soon he left me alone to do my own shit. I mean, I don't think he really owes me anything -- my best guess is that he probably never even knew I existed, so I'm certainly not mad that he never came to find me. I'm already accepted as a member of the Royal Family, so it's not like his acknowledgement is gonna' change my status. I suppose if we actually hit it off, I'd want to know all his stories, learn from him, that sort of thing -- but I kinda' want that from anyone I hit it off with. I guess it would be nice if he turned out to be really good at helping me master all these powers I'm s'posed to have, but again, I may have other relatives besides my dad who'd be more helpful. Mostly I just want him not to mess up my life too much."
Frequently gives part of her meal to someone else at the table. (This is a holdover from living with her image-conscious mother, who would frequently exclaim, "You're not going to finish that, are you?" Folly eventually picked up the habit to shut her mom up. Conveniently, her father always seemed pleased to eat anything she handed him. Syd, too.)
Rarely smokes -- and then not more than a drag or two from someone else's cigarette -- but likes the smell of cigarette smoke in hair and clothing.
Prefers hot herbal tea to coffee.
Intentionally peppers her speech with the slang of many cultures.
Still sleeps in flannel boxer shorts and an old T-shirt or tank top rather than a more Amber-appropriate nightgown.
Compulsively tests the acoustic properties of spaces and objects.
When quoting someone, mimics that person's voice, accent, and mannerisms.
Last modified: 27 Feb 2002