Jerod gazes at the pendant in the muted electric light of his quarters for a moment, seeing as the light caught the edges of the reddish-pink gemstone and flashed brilliantly. He idly flips it into his palm, feeling the weight and shape of it as he has done a thousand times before, a known and comfortable reminder of his time with Carina.
A moment passes before he picks up the glass style and dips it into the inkwell to write his note.
Cordelia...
There is someone I would you to meet today, someone from my home that I believe would be good for you to be familiar with.
Please be sure to be in attendance in the castle later today. I will send a page to find you at that time.
Dad
He re-reads the note for a moment, his ending especially. He knows well the difference between someone being a father, and a dad, and he wonders if he can meet the requirements it demands. But he looks at the pendant again and nods to himself.
He'll meet them...no matter how much work it takes.
Sealing up the message, he puts the pendant on under his shirt before heading out. As he travels the castle corridors, one of the ever under-foot pages is encountered and he provides the note to them with instructions to find Cordelia and give it to her.
Once that is done, continues on to Carina's quarters, knocking upon his arrival.
The note is dispatched, and the page promises to return any response to Prince Jerod's quarters.
Carina is nursing one of the still injured archivists, who is sleeping in the infirmary. Jerod passes Chew's cell/quarters on the way there, and finds the archivist in the outer room of her companion, who is resting within.
She rises when Jerod enters, but waits to see his reaction. Given the way castles work, it's entirely possible that the rumors have already reached her.
Jerod smiles when he sees her as always, missing her as always. And given the nature of the castle and rumors, and that she is the Queen's Archivist, he'd be surprised if news of events had not reached her first through her assistants and the friends and pages of the castle she would be sure to question when she was here.
Though one can always hope.
"How is the healing progressing?" he asks coming up to them, the question both for Carina caring for her assistant as well as her own injury.
"We'll both survive," Carina says, a little humor in her eyes underlying her analysis of the statement.
"I'm wondering if you have a little time. The currents have been turbulent of late...the seabed has brought forth some of its treasures...and some old wounds."
The phrase is a reference to Rebman life. Seabed scavengers can find treasure and goods from surface ships, but they would come from sunken vessels and tied to the deaths of those who died along with their ship. Great rewards are rarely received without a price.
"And the seabeds for your father's kin run deep." She nods her agreement with the old saying. "I have heard all sorts of stories, some that may speak to Celina's succession, and I've waited to hear the truth from you. Spin me a story, my prince, a story for me and a story for the future: for the Queen and the generations after." For just as Jerod is a Prince of Amber, with all that implies, Carina is one of the chiefs of the Queen's Archivists, and wears that office almost as deep in her skin and bones as Jerod does his own heritage.
Jerod nods, motioning to a pair of chairs. "Let me tell you a tale then of a daughter of Rebma, of the great reward she is in my life and the price that was paid for her to be there."
He settles into his chair, looking at Carina as she does the same to listen, to absorb, to hear his words, his thoughts and feelings and more...so much more than can be spoken with words.
"We learned of a situation of the Klybesian monks...who had a daughter of Rebma in their grasp. This came from Bend, who made the unfortunate mistake of coming to Paris and fell into our grasp and is now a guest of my uncle. She was questioned and remained as stubborn as one would expect but revealed to Celina some of the details of this daughter of the realm, though her background was not known.
"After counsel was taken amongst ourselves with my other cousins, it was decided that Celina would seek this daughter as Queen along with her brother Merlin. I remained with my cousin Ossian and his mother to pursue the monks separately. Their journey took them deep beneath Paris, to hidden places that had not been known to even exist. In one of these places, they came upon a masoleum in which a young woman was found who greeted them with tea and conversation and named herself Cordelia. And it was there they learned she had lived there since the time of her death in another land and had awakened to find herself there."
He pauses for a moment to let Carina digest the information, knowing any questions she has for clarity will wait.
"To say that the Queen was surprised at this knowledge would be an understatement, but it deterred her not and she resolved to bring Cordelia back to her home. She returned to Paris with Merlin and brought Cordelia to the rest of us, which now counted Vere amongst our numbers. And it was then that the Queen had thought she had stricken me, because upon seeing her, I knew instantly who she was.
"I knew not her name, nor had I heard ever her voice. But I knew she was her mother's daughter, and mine. Her mother was Marissa, from a land far into the depths of Shadow, a land of twilight where no sun had risen for a millenia. And she was vampyr.
"I had met her many years ago, after coming above the waves, some years before we met. And I call Cordelia a great treasure for many reasons, not least of which that she should not even exist. The vampyr of that realm do not reproduce as we do so there would be no thought of children from any union that might develop. So that made her unique. But she was also unique because from the moment I saw her, I found she was in here." and he taps his chest.
"She had been not in my life for but a moment, but she was already there. And you more than anyone else would know how rare that is. Few can touch the hearts of Princes...fewer still can make their home there. And that presence made me think of dreams I had not dared imagine before, and brought back terrible memories that were long buried.
"That is the great treasure that is my daughter." he says. He pauses for a moment now, waiting to see if there are questions before he continues.
Carina nods, showing that she has followed the story, most likely in so much detail that she could not only speak the same words Jerod used, but also imitate Jerod's intonation and the movements of his hands if needed. For all that Jerod knows Carina must have questions, she gestures to him to continue.
"That is the treasure." he says. "Now we learn what was paid for it."
He stops to collect his thoughts and to still them from racing. Despite carrying the weight for years, the memories are rarely called up all at once and he has to parse them for details.
"A few years after I came above the waves, I was doing tasks for Dad. He needed things...taken care of." Jerod says, not needing elaborating on the term with Carina. Of anyone, she would be the one most familiar with what he did in his past and he rarely kept secrets from her.
"One day, I had finished some work, something minor as I recall and I found myself out in Shadow and without an order to return once done. Dad normally was specific with his instructions and I don't know if this was deliberate or just an oversight, but it was there. And when I realized this, I decided that I didn't want to go back immediately. So...I rebelled. A tiny rebellion for sure, my very first I think...I could always claim it hadn't been mentioned that I should come back right away, so I stayed out in Shadow for awhile."
He smiles slightly as he recalls this. "It was fun. Had lots of adventures, though I think my definition of that might not be everyone's. I helped a young boy find his path to his family destiny, even if it was a bit of a dark one. Helped an exiled empress regain her throne from a usurper, which was lots of fun. Avoiding all the marriage proposals...that wasn't as much fun so I never went back there.
"Helped a couple with their romance of true love, right out of a story you might think...though in fairness my solution at the end I had to kinda cheat to get it to work given how some things played out, but last time I checked they were happy, had six kids and were running a bodega, so I think I did pretty good.
"Then one day I read an old scroll is a dusty library, about a prophecy. A tale of epic proportion and grandness, all the usual flamboyance. But the gist of it was an amulet that let the wearer speak to the dead. It was a story like a hundred others...except for a comment about where it might be found...a comment that I had heard separately from a traveler in another Shadow on a completely separate topic. And that piqued my interest.
"So I traveled, and questioned and dug into it. And it took me a ways from Amber, deep into Shadow, further than I had ever been. Til I came across a place of eternal twilight, where no mention of a sun was to be found in the writings of the people there, though I found recorded works dating back over a millenia. It was a divided land...humans in the northern kingdoms, vampyr in the southern reaches. And in between a stretch of land several hundred miles across where they mingled.
"The histories said that sometimes they mingled to each other's benefit and great city-states would arise showcasing their works. Celebrated works of poetry, art, food and drink were recorded attributed to individuals of greatness from both sides. Other times, the mingling was much less civilized and ground could remain scorched for a decade after the wars that raged. But regardless, they would always return. And it was here that my search led me.
"I met Marissa after having an encounter with a small group of wild vampyr. They thought I was lunch...I disabused them of that notion with my sword. Legends notwithstanding, vampyr are strong and capable but they are not invulnerable. She had been watching from a distance to see a group of her brethren struck down with only scratches for the stranger. And I was a stranger for sure...I did not fit in, did not act the part of a local by any means.
"So when she approached and we traded words this is where I learned she also sought the amulet, which made me realize I was in the right place. There was some back and forth about working together, and a bit of leeriness on both sides. But eventually we did."
He stops and sifts more memories, smiling as they come to mind, memories of good days buried beneath pain and sorrow. "Took a while to travel around actually. Simple technology, horses and wagons and sailing ships. But it was fun. It was new and different and somehow...it fit. It was a time when I could be me...who I felt I really was..not the invention of someone else.
"Marissa was older than me...she had been turned a couple of centuries before, and it had not been voluntary. She did not go into details on it but what I know from comments and writings would indicate it was a horrible fate to endure. But she never gave in to it. She fought it...fought what she had been made into, every day." he says, his admiration of her very clear to see. "Every single day."
"She was smart...she was charming and intelligent. She suffered fools poorly, which of course sometimes made me wonder why she spent so much time with me." he jokes. "And she never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it....she'd help if she could, even if people didn't trust her.
"So we traveled across the stretch between the kingdoms, searching ruins for clues and questioning sages in cities and monasteries. It took months to do, though in Amber only a couple passed total. The time flow there was very fast by comparison. And as we traveled the stories began...of the stranger and the vampyr. How they traveled and search, how they helped at times, fought at other times, but always together. Some of the stories were outrageous for sure and those faded eventually...but others persisted, usually the ones that were true.
"While I was there, she showed me all sorts of things about the land. About the animals and plants and the people and I learned how they were adapted to the twilight, to a land with two moons that rose and set. Once, we traveled by carrack across Balaton tenger..." he says, pronouncing with a precise and distinct accent, one derived from long uses. "...the sea of Balaton. The sea life was bioluminescent and schools of fish would travel around the ships with color displays like nothing I had ever seen. You could see predator fish with their own patterns and how they interacted, a great dancing of lights on your journey.
"She taught me the language of runes for the people, of histories long forgotten there. We traveled and dug into the prophecy and helped people along the way. And along the way I realize something changed in me.
"There is a nature display that people would watch during the twin moon rise, at harvest times. When the moon wheat would ripple in the breeze, if the moons were just right, you could see waves of color shimmer across the field, like a living thing. If you were on a hill or higher ground, it would stretch for miles. I remember calling it a rainbow...and then having to teach everyone what that word meant...because they had never seen one before. They had no word for it. So the stranger gave them a word and they kept it. I remember that because it was when I realized I felt comfortable there...it felt like home.
"Eventually, we came across the amulet's location. We tracked it to a fortress atop Mt. Csillag, which seemed like a variant shadow of Kolvir, though no city stood atop it, just the fortress. It was the home of a rather unpleasant wizard named Sharankoor, who despite being old had not learned the art of being a benevolent dictator...just a brutal one. We needed to get in but he was known for being rather unpleasant...and we decided to deal with him, and get the amulet at the same time.
"So we started a civil war." he says, matter of factly. "And that was fun too.
"Didn't take long to get things riled up...he'd done all the work for us...it was just a matter of finding a leader for the people, coalescing their grievances, getting weapons and putting the people together into a fighting force. That got the mage's attention and brought him out of the fortress, which is what we needed. We couldn't assault it directly, but we could come in through the back door, by climbing.
"I did the climb first because Marissa couldn't. The mage had put a geas around the mountain, about halfway up to the fortress that would force any vampyr into slumber once they entered its zone, which means they fall and die. Tough, but not invulnerable. And no human could attempt it with any reasonable chance of success. But I'm not human and I did it first and then pulled Marissa up. Once there we made short work of his remaining guards...most of his troops were down on the switchbacks guarding the approaches.
"After that we got the amulet. One would think happy ending and all...but that's not what happened." he says slowly, picking his words carefully, being forced to confront his loss in words to another. "Because now we learned the reality of the amulet, or rather, I did because I think Marissa already knew. Like all prophecies, there is more to them than what you hear.
"When we finally acquired it, I was injured and she obtained it from where it was stored and brought it over. I remember when she handed it to me, she was reluctant to do so, but she did. I took a look at it, but I wasn't actually interested in it, not from a magical or power perspective, and that's important. Because to me, at that time, I didn't appreciate what it was. To me, it wasn't an object of power to be used...it was just a trophy. It was a prize to be won at the end of a race, that sort of thing. And I never considered anyone else might see it differently. So I never asked too much more...never really asked.
"So I looked at it and gave it back to her. And I think she was hoping I wouldn't give it back to her. That I'd keep it...but I didn't. I knew she wanted it so I gave it to her. So she took it, and put it on, and it killed her."
Jerod stops and looks at Carina at that point. His face is expressionless, his words flat and unemotional. But she knows this face and this voice, and how much control he is exerting on the emotions he is feeling. This may be the worst she has ever seen for him.
"I found out that the amulet doesn't let you speak to the dead...not precisely. It let you summon the spirits of those who had been turned." he says. "To the spirits of vampyr that were trapped within the object. The mage had figured out a spell to do that, and used it to acquire knowledge. And, now of course, I can appreciate how powerful such a device would be. All those spirits, their knowledge, their wisdom, the lore they would possess over hundreds of years...all of it available at your fingertips.
"But the device had a flaw...because if a vampyr ever got ahold of it, they could summon their own spirit and retrieve it. No one knew what that would do, but it would most certainly not be good for the device. So Sharankoor kept it hidden in this fortress away from prying eyes...secure against any threat that the world could offer.
"But he had never met a Prince of Amber. So Marissa got the amulet, and took her spirit back. But like a hole in a dike, other spirits came out too....in a flood. And she was the conduit they used to escape."
He pauses again, taking a deep breath as he stares into space. Time passes second by second until he suddenly starts speaking again. "It took me maybe two months to build a tomb for her, on top of the mountain. Sharankoor was in no position to disagree with me, not with a sword through his chest and his fortress razed into rubble. Most of the locals knew Marissa from our travels, knew she was good and wouldn't try to disturb it. The remainder, they were warned off, but I came back every year...my time...to check. It was about five years between visits for them...so I became like a returning comet, predictable in my passage through the skies.
"And I couldn't stay...I wanted to, but I couldn't. Our desires become the reality of shadow around us, and I would not inflict that despair on those people...my second home after all. So I left, came back to Amber...to the people who had made me...just like she had been made. I came back to a life that I realized I despised.
"But it was all I had left. And even though I returned regularly, like I mentioned with part of me hoping she would rise again...she never did. Time passed, and for the land years became decades, and then a century, and then two. I stopped going when the Sundering hit...couldn't travel after that and once travel became possible, I had other priorities.
"And I think that was when she rose again...how I'm not sure...and Cordelia was born...also how I'm not sure. I just know that she's here. Now. And that I have some old wounds to try to heal...along with everything else that goes with that."
Carina nods slowly. She has been actively listening all the way through. Here, when Jerod stops, she moves to take Jerod's hand. "I am still an archivist of the Queen, Jerod. Are you sure you should tell me the rest?"
"Is there a reason why I shouldn't?" Jerod asks, returning the clasp. "The Prince in me would say that I should say nothing...that it's weakness and can be exploited by my enemies. Except I know that is a lie. My greatest weakness is what I carry around in me and you've seen it already over the years.
"Problem with being immortal is that we're lazy...if we can't deal with something immediately, we instinctively try to avoid it...because we think we can outlive it. But the important problems, the ones that matter...we carry those with us until we get rid of them.
"So right now, I'm not speaking to the archivist..I'm speaking to you. To the woman that I love and would do anything for. And yes, you are the archivist...a position you earned every day despite having no status in a society that values it over everything. But you are also much more than that. You are smart and charming and intelligent and you gave me hope and made life livable again when I was traveling a path that would have made me the worst possible Prince you can imagine. You live life according to your rules, even as you fit into the confines of society. And in your own way you suffer fools poorly." he says with a smile.
"You challenge every moment without ever appearing to do so. How much convention did you defy when you pursued me...a commoner and a Prince. How much risk did you take when you gave me this?" he asks, pulling out the amulet, letting it glitter in the light.
"I know what this means to you...it means the same to me. It is no idle trinket I carry...so I would ask then....why wouldn't I tell you? If I trust you and your judgment, if I respect you not for your title or your position but for you, as you...then I would wonder how I could not tell you."
"Your answer confirms the wisdom of my choices," Carina says, smiling. "But knowing all that we both know, and that while Celina is Queen now, your grandmother may still attempt a return, we both must consider all options. And though there are things I would not speak of to your grandmother, there are ways to loosen the most reluctant tongue."
"The return of Grandmother is always a possibility." Jerod says. "I will be making a visit to Bend after I am done in Xanadu. She has answers to questions I have, and I will have those answers. How much unpleasantness goes into obtaining them will be up to her. That may shed some light on things..., on the monks, on Grandmother, and my mother.
"But whether she returns or not is not relevant. Everything spoken here, everything I tell you, in some way or form, will come out in the future. It always does. This is also a problem of being immortal. Everything comes back at some point.
"I cannot protect Cordelia by trying to hide things. She will only be safe, as safe as she can be, by her own choices and by what she is taught, what she learns. I'm her father...hopefully one day I can be her dad." and he smiles at that word. "I can teach her a lot. I can teach her my life....how to use her power...how to fight and defend. I can teach her what mom taught me...how to be like a daughter even though I was her son.
"But there are things I cannot teach her, because I don't have the perspective. Mom taught me how to think like I was her daughter...to use knowledge first, to think of plans and consequences, to rely on power last, not first. And even when my sisters complimented me on how I could have made a great sister...I could not know what it was like to be a daughter because that never the interaction I had with the rest of Rebma. So I can't know how the interaction always plays out. And thus I cannot teach her everything.
"So I am asking you to be there. If she decides to go to Rebma, which she may not...but if she does...she will have questions. And I will answer them as far as I can, I will teach her everything I know....but for the questions I cannot answer, I would ask you to be someone she could come to for answers.
"I ask a terrible burden of you...because I will trust you with my daughter in those times when I cannot help her."
"You honor me with your request, Jerod. I will do what I can for your daughter, because she is yours, and what is precious to you is also precious to me, even when I have not yet learned to love her for her own sake. But," and Carina's expression morphs to one of concern, "I don't know what the metaphyics of her presence in Rebma would be. I'm sure there have been vampyrs in the Rebman waters before, even if I don't know who knows those stories. But I doubt we've had one who was the daughter of a Prince of Amber."
"She has more of my upbringing that one might expect." Jerod says. "Her heritage, whether she can come into the family gifts or not, means she straddles possibly three worlds. Her birth home, the Family home be that Xanadu or Paris or wherever, and Rebma....she is connected to all, but whether any are truly home is another matter."
He smiles when he looks at Carina. "That lesson is one I can teach her a lot about. Hopefully it will be learned before she makes a choice as to whether to go to Rebma or not."
He leans back for a moment, looking up absently at the ceiling as he does sometimes, collecting random thoughts before continuing. "I am unsure as to whether her heritage will prevent her coming into her gifts. It is possible the trial will kill her outright. It is also possible that coming into her gifts prevents her vampyric talents from being used anymore. I have to speak to Random on that.
"Even if she were never to attempt it, she will be like her mother in many respects. She will not age of course and she has other talents and strengths she will be able to use as she matures. Marissa was not one of us to be sure, but she was not to be trifled with. The fools she suffered poorly did not suffer for long.
"So I think that any path for Cordelia to Rebma will be in the future, and subject to much discussion. And not just for her I think but for myself as well."
"You do not have to make any decisions that you're not ready for," Carina reminds Jerod.
"But the ways of Court die a hard death my dear." Jerod says with a chuckle and a wry smile. "Always planning ahead, always covering your bases, seeking alliances, watching for enemies.
"I wonder now, with all the opportunities to change, to get rid of the past...whether that part of me will go that route as well, or if I'll just hold onto it. Like an old chest you stuff in a closet, take it out when the circumstances demand.
"So many opportunities, to be something new. To take a new path." he says. "Did you know I apologized to Vere?" and he smiles again, watching for the subtle eyebrow raise or tilt of her head to denote her expression of surprise or acknowledgement.
"It was after Cambina died and he was musing about using his ghost whisperer skills to see if something might be usable to be found. I was....not pleasant in my response. He's a good man and I should have trusted him, but at the time I didn't. Let my fear get the better of me. Now that things are clearer, I realized that needed doing."
And there it is: the tilt of her head, acknowledging the deed.
"Just like I need to apologize to you."
"I've probably already forgiven you," Carina says, "but for what?"
"For taking away a choice you would have had." Jerod says.
"Cordelia's arrival has made me think about certain choices I had made after losing Marissa. Meeting you...was like another chance, a new life I suppose. And one I did not want to lose. I'm not sure what I would have done...or been like were that to have happened.
"We both knew that marriage wasn't an option then. Not with Dad going for the throne and all. But one thing that was an option was children. And I think I would have wanted them...but I made a choice.
"I was afraid that path might be harmful to you and I wasn't prepared to risk that. And that was what I did wrong. Whether you wanted children or not wasn't relevant...you never had the chance to decide. That is what I must apologize for.
"I need to apologize because of choices that I may make going forward. Cordelia made me realize so many things that I would have wanted if Marissa had not died, so many paths that I could have followed. I know I would not be here...I would not have returned to Amber. I was quite happy being there...even if it was a dangerous place to live.
"But that was then...and I'm here now. And while I may pursue choices that take me away from the path that Dad wanted me to be on, I want you there with me. But that is not a choice I can make for you. I need to include you in those choices and not take you for granted because my life is going to get real busy I suspect."
"I accept your apology for unilaterally deciding we shouldn't have a child. It was one I agreed with, and was taking my own precautions over; I thought if we wanted to have a child, we'd talk about it first. And you didn't, so I assumed you didn't." Carina smiles, faintly; it's clearly a subject she'd considered on her own. "When your father was seeking the throne, a child of ours would have been an asset and a point of weakness for him. Moreso a son, but even a daughter would have been a pressure point. Possibly a marriage asset with one of the great families of Amber. And that's not even thinking about what your grandmother would have done. I didn't want any of that, and I assumed--again, there's that unilateral thinking--you didn't either. But perhaps we should have discussed it, and been clear that it wasn't what we were ready for at that time.
"I don't know that we are, now, either. But I'd like to find out. This," and she waves one hand at the palace around them, "opens everything up. With your grandmother ousted as Queen, and Random as head of the family, everything changes in Rebma as well. I had not considered leaving, but if we're putting everything on, as surfacers say, the table, let us consider that too. We don't have to make decisions today, but we can at least acknowledge there are many decisions to be made. Is that a place we can start from?"
Jerod continues hold her hands as she speaks, feeling the words imprint themselves upon him. As he listens, it feels as if a great weight is lifted from his shoulders, the burden of heavy chains he did not realized he was carrying and his chest loosens its tightness. It feels easier to breathe than before, even if he still finds the air too thin to his liking, the sun too bright.
He does not immediately respond when she finishes, instead looking at her as he marvels at how much he loves this woman. He smiles as he nods. "Yes. A first step in a new life. And many news paths to consider."
He pulls her closer, letting their foreheads touch for a moment, the better to speak privately. "There will be time to talk about things." he says quietly. "How long before you need to head home with your archivists?"
She can tell without difficulty he is looking for her to remain around for at least a few days, given how little they have been able to see one another of late.
"We haven't been summoned yet, and even if we are, I can wait a few days. They're still concerned about the blow I took to the head. The transition to the water shouldn't be a problem but it's not ideal," Carina confesses. "And I'll probably have to undergo an assessment once I'm back in Rebma."
A head injury could, of course, be a reason for Carina to leave the archivists, or for her to be declared unfit to continue. Under Celina this might mean pensioning off, or moving to some other Court role. Under Moire, Carina's status might be more uncertain.
He nods silently, his hand coming up after a moment to trace the point where she was struck. The motion is slow and light but she knows well he is angry at the thought of her being injured...not because of the injury but that he can do nothing to correct it.
She knows the Prince, the one who bends reality to his will as easily as mortals breathe, who challenges gods and mortals in equal measure. And she knows he hates what has happened, because for all that he can shift and bend and warp reality to suit his desires...this is the one thing he is powerless to change. That it involves the woman he loves makes it that much more difficult to accept.
His hand comes down after a moment, and he pulls back slightly to look at her, letting her dark eyes bring peace once more. "One step at a time then." he says. "Whatever you need from me is yours. Whatever influence, you use it. If more is required that we cannot find here or in Rebma, we'll see what Shadow can provide.
"But that is also for the future, albeit near future. For the now, do you have time? I would like you to meet Cordelia."
Carina smiles, the wide grin showing in her eyes, lighting up her whole face. "I would love to meet Cordelia. Please send for her, if you wish and she is likely to be available, or let's arrange to share a meal."
He smiles and arranges for a page to find Cordelia so they can meet. While the page is out he mentions to Carina. "I haven't actually been able to figure out...what she eats." and he smiles slightly sheepishly. "She's not fully like her mother but even if she is in that respect Marissa had other options. Blood for them didn't need to be human...just blood. Though she did mention some cultural stereotypes about not feeding on humans being seen as barbaric. A lot of hunting metaphors got mentioned.
"I think we'll meet first, and then add in the meal sharing to see how that goes."
Carina seems fascinated by the concept of existing on blood alone but perhaps less interested in observing it too closely.
"If you're worried about that, Dad, I just ate," says Cordelia, who has opened the door unannounced. "Let me not explain, a bit. I have no idea how I'm different from other people, but I am. There's probably not another person who has one parent who is a vampire and another who is a Prince of Amber. Everything I am is exactly average for people like me, population 1."
"My mother had a lot of restrictions and life cycle stages that came with being her. I don't. Or I don't think that I do. Who's to say what's a preference, a habit, a pleasure, or a necessity?"
She turns to the Archivist. "You must be Carina." Jerod gets the feeling that it's a bit of an act, but that the facade is there to protect Cordelia from the overload of so many new people so fast.
Carina nods, and offers her hand in the manner of Rebmans. After a moment, Cordelia figures it out and shakes it.
"Oh, and before you ask, I'm an only child, as far as I know." Cordelia turns to Jerod, offering him the option of contradicting her.
"As far as I know as well." Jerod says, motioning to chairs. "We were just discussing that in fact.
"I'm hoping the steward was able to provide suitable quarters for you?" he asks. "While we have Chew in custody, his network of cells remains intact so until we can deal with them, it is not advised for you to travel. Even then, it can be a risk but if you can come into the family gifts, you'll be better able to defend yourself. So it's never bad to have a place to be able to stop and rest.
"The King has agreed that you are welcome as family and may remain as long as you wish. To obtain the power that your birthright allows, assuming you want to try, requires that some questions be answered. Given your background people are likely to be wondering what will be the impact of you having those gifts. I know this because two minutes after the King agreed you could stay, one of my cousins, Folly, who I consider a very reasonable, very thoughtful individual asked the question of whether you were going to eat anyone.
"It's a question that a lot of people are going to have, and a couple of my aunts and uncles can be a lot less reasonable than Folly. It's something we want to get ahead of, and for sure Random is going to ask questions about your background since he is the one who makes the final decision about taking the trial for the gift."
Jerod's tone throughout his comments has been sympathetic but direct. Like pulling a bandage off, it is something that has to be dealt with so better to do it quickly and not make the process any longer than normal.
"The normal family routine, which you'll want to know, is that gossip and questions are a family staple. It's how we keep up on events, learn what is happening. Youngers always go first before Elders decide what to let others know about. It may not always seem fair but it works, and usually the Elders in question are several centuries old so they may have a good reason for keeping something under wraps.
"In this case it is a routine I will forgo. My parents did not do it with me and I suspect you probably have a lot of questions so I would like to see about answering those if I can.
"So if you have anything to ask, please go ahead."
Carina has simply stood by as a calming presence while Jerod talk, letting him demonstrate his trust in her by how he speaks in front of her.
Cordelia has a wan smile on her lips. "For what it's worth, I grew up without you, and I am my own woman, so while I hope we have a close and agreeable relationship, I'm not anxious to be anyone's minor child. I am looking for an adult relationship, even if you are old enough to be my father.
"And I suppose it's inevitable that people are going to wonder if I'm going to eat someone. I don't know your cousin, but my immediate response is 'Not unless someone really irritates me.' Which is a total bluff on my part. I didn't even feel inclined to drink the blood of those monks I killed who were keeping my captive. And there was plenty of blood around."
Cordelia walks in from the doorway and finds a couch to sit on. "Anyway, based on what you're saying, I think my first set of questions is about this ritual. What is and why would they want me to do it?"
"It is called the Pattern." Jerod says, finding a comfortable chair as well and making sure Carina can do the same if she wishes. "And you walk it because you want to, not because you are required to. The King can decide if he thinks you are strong enough to walk it, or if he doesn't want you to. In Xanadu he is the arbiter of access.
"The power it grants to those who complete it, by walking it, is to have mastery over the reality of Shadow as we call other worlds, the ability to shape them and change things to suit our desires. It is the reason why the monks pursued you...they are of the belief they can somehow isolate and harness this power. They have no clue as to how it works, or the implications to reality if they were ever to be able to actually accomplish their task.
"As for why you are not required to walk it, the reason is simple. If you are not sufficiently strong enough, or not of the blood of family, the Pattern will kill you. If you try to walk it and stop, it will kill you. If you walk it, and try to step off it..." and he stops, knowing she will understand the rest.
"It's an all or nothing...you finish it, or you don't."
"There is also a Pattern in Rebma, where I come from. Queen Moire, who ruled when I started in the Royal Archives, set many people on it, or allowed them to try. So far as I know, none of them survived," Carina adds, reinforcing Jerod's explanation.
Cordelia listens to all of this as if Jerod is telling her to only use blue ink to write an essay. "Well, being already part-dead, I've no idea if that's an advantage or a disadvantage, but I am strong, or at least I think I am. What if the King says 'no'? Can I get a second opinion?"
"You can try, but I would not advise it." Jerod says. "As Carina has mentioned, there are other Patterns. One in Paris with my uncle Corwin. One in Avalon with my uncle Benedict. Another, which is off limits due to war, is Tir-na Nog'th. The queen of that realm is responsible for my sister's death. Entry there is barred by order of the King.
"Each of my uncles could let you walk their Pattern. Despite the differences in the cities, the Patterns that underlie them are the same so the power granted is identical. However, each of my uncles has sworn fealty to Random and if he chooses to refuse to let you walk, they are likely to do the same.
"From my experience he will have two reasons to do so. One, he questions your loyalty. I'm not thinking that is likely going to be the issue. You haven't done anything against Family so unless he unearths something else that makes him worried, I'm not seeing that being a problem. And Random is very good at asking questions.
"The problem will be whether or not he thinks you can actually walk it and survive. Your background is pretty unique compared to my cousins and elders. I'll be looking to speak to him concerning this. Now that doesn't mean it's impossible. Merlin, who you've met, is half Chaosian and a shape-shifter on his mother's side. Pattern is the essence of Order, so it opposes Chaos and tends to win out in the long run. But he was able to walk his father's Pattern. I know of two others who have also done this as well.
"How Random will determine you're capable is something that isn't explained...which is kinda normal with Pattern. It's hard to explain how it works, though easy to explain what we can achieve with it. Random created his Pattern so he'll have a very good idea of how it works, even if he can't explain it."
She looks ready to argue, but doesn't.
He stops for a moment, parsing his thoughts. "I have a question for you. When you came to Paris, and to Xanadu...what did you feel or sense? Beyond the usual things that you can sense." he asks. "No matter how odd you might think it."
"It was remarkable. Paris was so different. Huge and brimming over with life energy, but I was magically constrained and it wasn't until I went through with your cousins that I felt free. It's like a weight was lifted from me and I can fly here."
Carina's eyes get slightly larger and Cordelia notices and amends her previous statement.
"Metaphorically. Don't believe everything you've heard about vampires. And Xanadu has that feeling, too. It's a place people succeed." Her eyes narrow. "If the King has magick-ed it to produce optimism, it's working."
Jerod smiles as she describes her impressions, nodding once.
"That's the influence of the Pattern and the Order that it imposes. Your magic, and more powerful things like Sorcery, won't work here. Think of Pattern as the imposition of rules. Sorcery and shadow magicks bypass the rules of reality, let you do or create things instantaneously in some cases. Pattern lets you change reality according to the rules of the Shadow you're in. So I can't make coins out of thin air, but I can decide that there are coins in my pocket because I know they are, or a treasure is buried somewhere. You can decide that someone is not going to answer a door or stops on a patrol to tie their shoe. Those are quick things. For larger items, you can stay in a place and make bigger changes...the nature of the weather, the migration of peoples. So long as it follows the rules.
"It's why in a contest between Pattern and Sorcery, though there can be some variance if a sorcerer is extremely powerful or skillful, Pattern typically beats Sorcery.
"That you can feel the influence even a little is a good sign. Most people who come to here would recognize things as being more beautiful, food tasting better, that sort of thing. Their perceptions are more surface related. If you can sense how you personally interact with it, even a little, that's a sign that of a possible connection. We still have to check with Random for his opinion, but if you hadn't felt that part, I would say to not have even bothered."
She smiles, "We'll see. Most people don't understand my maternal inheritance. It will be refreshing to those people not understand my paternal inheritance, either."
Carina nods. "In Amber, Xanadu, and Rebma, you will find that you are treated as a Master of the City. Its officers of the law will defer to you and, if you say so, arrest anyone you accuse. You will not be able to pay for anything and the bills will be sent to the Castle, where they will be paid. And the merchant may start to label their goods 'by appointment to the royal family.' This is commonplace, and most of your peers hardly notice it, but the people below you in status certainly do.
"If anything is prohibitively expensive, the steward will mention it to your father, but not to you."
Carina turns to Cordelia. "People will seek you out for favors and access. In Amber and Xanadu, men will want to court you for power and money. In Rebma, they will want you to marry their brothers. Such a union would enrich a family for generations."
Cordelia looks at Jerod. "That sounds like it could get either tricky or annoying."
"Usually both. You will want to be mindful of the advantages you have in Rebma should you go there, which you would not have as many in places like Xanadu, Paris or Amber. They can be of great value so long as we keep in mind the price that comes with using our advantage, and that we do not abuse them. It can be easy to do if you're not used to it.." Jerod replies.
"That is not to say you will be lacking in power outside of Rebma. You will simply need to find ways to exploit the rules that are there." and he smiles slightly. It is clear he's used to looking for ways to exploit rules given his Rebman birthright.
"The current political situation is also in flux. Most people are disinterested in politics but it is good to keep in mind since politics involves power, and we're power by our nature. Celina is the current queen, but she acquired the throne after her lover Khela usurped it from my grandmother Moire. As Carina mentioned, Moire put many on Rebma's Pattern to try to gain a measure of its power. She was not a nice person and she fled into Shadow.
"Khela died walking the Pattern and Celina now holds the throne. But Moire is still out there and her possible return is a point to be taken into account. The probability is low however so we will keep it in the background for now. You will have time to explore and see where you want to go and how you want to fit in.
"Which begs the question - how do you see that happening?"
Cordelia looks back at her father. "I don't know. When do I have to answer? I have less than a tenday's experience having a family around me and I don't want to make decisions that close doors for me when I don't even know where the doors are."
"Especially if it's tricky. I'd say my main objective is to preserve my options. Is there a path forward for that?"
"Sure. It's called keeping your options open." Jerod says with a grin. "There is no right or wrong answer to choosing your own path. The main issue I've ever had is in following a path because it was put before me and not realizing I could choose my own.
"The reverse of keeping your options open, of course, is never choosing. At some point, you'll have to. Though even not choosing is still a choice. It's just a stagnant one.
"For right now, if you want open options, then relax and explore. Talk to people, make acquaintances and friends as you see fit. Ask questions and see where the answers take you.
"The one thing to know early is that we do not have jobs in the classic sense. We take on a niche, a role if you will. You go where you're needed, where you can do some good or can fit in. We're very pre-emptive in some cases...we just have to be sure we're not stepping on someone's toes while doing it."
"Keeping my options open sounds excellent. I only know a few people here, and only a few people in Paris who I want to dismantle, but other than that, I am not informed enough to choose a path."
Carina nods. "If you want, I can help you with information. My job, and I do have one, is to remember things and tell them when needed."
Cordelia smiles. "Thank you, that would be a kindness."
Jerod nods, also smiling. "Then I think we will call it here for the moment. I have other questions for you that I will want to pose before I go see Bend in Paris, but those can wait." and he looks at Carina. "Edan wants to go rooting around in Xanadu's basement for something and Random doesn't want him going alone. So I volunteered.
"But before that...I'd like to get that meal I mentioned."
Last modified: 15 June 2025